Saya seorang mantan guru sekolah musik dari Des Moines, Iowa. Saya mendapat nafkah dengan mengajar piano-selama lebih dari 30 tahun. Selama itu, saya menyadari tiap anak punya kemampuan musik yang berbeda. Tapi saya tidak pernah merasa telah menolong walaupun saya telah mengajar beberapa murid berbakat. Walaupun begitu, saya ingin bercerita tentang murid yang "tertantang secara musik". Contohnya adalah Robby.
Robby berumur 11 tahun, ketika ibunya memasukkan dia dalam les untuk pertama kalinya. Saya lebih senang kalau murid (khususnya laki-laki) mulai belajar ketika lebih muda, saya jelaskan itu pada Robby. Tapi Robby berkata, ibunya selalu ingi n mendengar dia bermain piano. Jadi saya jadikan dia murid.
Robby memulai les pianonya dan dari awal saya pikir dia tidak ada harapan. Robby mencoba, tapi dia tak mempunyai perasaan nada maupun irama dasar yang perlu dipelajari. Namun dia mempelajari benar-benar tangga nada dan beberapa pelajaran awal yang saya wajibkan untuk dipelajari semua murid.
Selama beberapa bulan, dia mencoba terus dan saya mendengarnya dengan ngeri dan terus mencoba menyemangatinya. Setiap akhir pelajaran mingguannya, dia berkata, "Ibu saya akan mendengar saya bermain pada suatu hari." Tapi rasanya sia-sia saja. Dia memang tak berkemampuan sejak lahir. Saya hanya mengetahui ibunya dari jauh ketika menurunkan Robby atau menjemput Robby. Dia hanya tersenyum dan melambaikan tangan tapi tidak pernah turun.
Pada suatu hari, Robby tidak datang lagi ke les kami.
Saya berpikir untuk menghubunginya, tapi saya berkata dalam hati, karena ketidakmampuannya, mungkin dia mau les yang lain saja. Saya juga senang dia tidak datang lagi. Dia menjadi iklan yang buruk untuk pengajaran saya!
Beberapa minggu sesudahnya, saya mengirimkan brosur ke tiap murid,mengenai pertunjukan yang akan dilaksanakan. Yang mengagetkan saya, Robby (yang juga menerima brosur) menanyakan kepada saya apakah dia bisa ikut pertunjukan itu. Saya katakan kepadanya, pertunjukan itu untuk murid yang ada sekarang dan karena dia telah keluar, tentu dia tak bisa ikut. Dia katakan bahwa ibunya sakit sehingga tak bisa mengantarnya ke les, tapi dia tetap terus berlatih. "Bu Hondrof... saya mau main!" dia memaksa.
Saya tidak tahu apa yang membuat saya akhirnya membolehkan dia main di pertunjukan itu. Mungkin karena kegigihannya atau mungkin ada sesuatu yang berkata dalam hati saya bahwa dia akan baik-baik saja.
Malam pertunjukan datang. Aula itu dipenuhi dengan orang tua, teman, dan relasi. Saya menaruh Robby pada urutan terakhir sebelum saya ke depan untuk berterima kasih dan memainkan bagian terakhir. Saya rasa kesalahan yang dia buat akan terjadi pada akhir acara dan saya bisa menutupinya dengan permainan dari saya.
Pertunjukan itu berlangsung tanpa masalah. Murid-murid telah berlatih; dan hasilnya bagus. Lalu Robby naik ke panggung. Bajunya kusut dan rambutnya bagaikan baru dikocok. "Kenapa dia tak berpakaian seperti murid lainnya?" pikir saya. "Kenapa ibunya tidak menyisir rambutnya setidaknya untuk malam ini?"
Robby menarik kursi piano dan mulai. Saya terkejut ketika dia menyatakan bahwa dia telah memilih Mozart's Concerto #21 in C Major. Saya tidak dapat bersiap untuk mendengarnya. Jarinya ringan di tuts nada, bahkan menari dengan gesit. Dia berpindah dari pianossimo ke fortissimo... dari allegro ke virtuoso. Akord tergantungnya yang diinginkan Mozart sangat mengagumkan! Saya tak pernah mendengar lagu Mozart dimainkan orang seumur dia sebagus itu!
Setelah enam setengah menit, dia mengakhirinya dengan crescendo besar dan semua terpaku disana dengan tepuk tangan yang meriah. Dalam uraian air mata, saya naik ke panggung dan memeluk Robby dengan sukacita. "Saya belum pernah mendengar kau bermain seperti itu, Robby! Bagaimana kau melakukannya?" Melalui pengeras suara Robby menjawab, "Bu Hondorf... ingat saya berkata bahwa ibu saya sakit? Ya, sebenarnya dia sakit kanker dan dia telah berlalu pagi ini. Dan sebenarnya... dia tuli sejak lahir jadi hari inilah dia pertama kali mendengar saya bermain. Saya ingin bermain secara khusus."
Tidak ada satu pun mata yang kering malam itu. Ketika orang-orang dari layanan sosial membawa Robby dari panggung ke ruang pemeliharaan, saya menyadari meskipun mata mereka merah dan bengkak, betapa hidup saya jauh lebih berarti karena mengambil Robby sebagai murid saya.
Tidak, saya tidak pernah menjadi penolong, tapi malam itu saya menjadi orang yang ditolong Robby. Dialah gurunya dan sayalah muridnya. Karena dialah yang mengajarkan saya arti ketekunan, kasih, percaya dirimu sendiri, dan bahkan mau memberi kesempatan pada seseorang yang tak anda ketahui mengapa.
Peristiwa ini semakin berarti ketika, setelah bermain di Desert Storm, Robby terbunuh oleh pengeboman yang tak masuk akal oleh Alfred P. Murrah, Federal Building di Oklahoma pada April 1995, ketika dilaporkan... dia sedang main piano.
Snacks of Humor
[1] You can become an engineer if you go to an Engineering college,
But don't expect to be a President going to the Presidency College!
***
[2] Expect a BUS at a BUS Stop, but Don't expect a FOOL at FULLSTOP(.)
***
[3] A Mechanical engineer becomes a mechanic
Then why not a software engineer become a software?
***
[4] Find keys in a Key board
But do not expect a mother in mother board.
***
[5] Study anything you want and get a certificate in subject of your studies
But don't expect a death certificate studying "Dying and Death."
The Dancing Leader
October 24th, 2007 at 9:40 am (The Dancing Leader)
Tags: dancing, kepemimpinan, kontemporer, pemimpin, penari, The Dancing Leader
Kolom Appreciative Life
The Dancing Leader
“While I dance I cannot judge, I cannot hate, I cannot separate myself from life. I can only be joyful and whole. That is why I dance.” Hans Bos
The Dancing Leader? Apa pula itu? Pemimpin macam apa pula ini? Padahal sudah banyak dikenal bermacam-macam model pemimpin. Saya coba ambil buku “Paradigma Baru Kepemimpinan”. Dari buku itu saja, dapat kita temukan 27 model kepemimpinan seperti Kepemimpinan yang berani, Kepemimpinan Super hingga Kepemimpinan Emosional.
Menariknya, banyak pakar menggunakan cara yang sama tetapi berbeda kesimpulannya. Secara umum ditandai dengan kalimat, “…setelah mewawancarai ratusan bahkan ribuan pemimpin maka saya menyimpulkan pemimpin adalah….”. Mengapa demikian? Pada dasarnya, kepemimpinan adalah fenomena unik, digeneralisasi pun akan tetap sampai pada kesimpulan yang unik pula.
The dancing leader bukanlah salah satu teori kepemimpinan. Bukan sebuah model kepemimpinan baru. Tidak lagi menambah model kepemimpinan yang sudah banyak. Sama sekali bukan. The dancing leader adalah sebuah teori tindakan (action theory) yang memfasilitasi setiap pelaku untuk menyadari dan menciptakan model kepemimpinannya yang unik.
***
Apa yang terbayang dibenak anda ketika mendengar kata menari? Anak kecil yang bebas menari? Agnes monica yang menyanyi sambil menari? Penari jawa yang gemulai? Dancing with wolves-nya Kevin Costner? Pretty woman? Kebebasan? Harmoni? Keindahan? (terima kasih buat pak eko, mbak agnes, mas helmi, mas kusnan, mas heri we, mbak ria) Apapun. Bayangkan gambaran yang muncul mengenai menari.
Menari pasti bersangkut paut dengan gerakan (movement) atau rangkaian tindakan. Suatu gerakan sepenuh hati oleh seseorang dalam mengekspresikan diri untuk tujuan personal, sosial atau spiritual. Untuk memainkan sebuah tarian, orang harus menjadi diri sendiri dan melakukannya dengan sepenuh. Menari karena ingin menari. Bukan karena tujuan diluar menari. Entah itu uang. Atau tepukan penonton. Menari berarti menyelaraskan seluruh kapasitas diri. Menari berarti menyelaraskan kapasitas diri dan kapasitas penari yang lain dengan musik pengiring.
Karena ekspresi diri, setiap tarian bersifat otentik. Sebagian orang lebih menyukai tarian samba yang lebih bergelora, orang yang lain memilih memainkan tarian bedoyo yang lebih kalem. Bahkan sebuah gerakan tarian yang sama, dimainkan dengan cara yang berbeda oleh setiap orang. Kita pun bisa menciptakan tarian kita sendiri.
Menjadi seorang penari berarti menjadi orang yang dinamis. Penari bertindak, berupa langkah-langkah yang berulang maupun lirikan mata yang mengundang. Gerakan yang selaras dengan suatu irama dan dengan gerakan penari lain. Penari bergerak mengikuti suatu pakem secara bebas. Fleksibel dalam koridor.
Apapun tariannya pastilah atraktif. Menarik hati. Tetapi penari sejati, tidak pernah memaksakan kehendaknya kepada orang lain untuk menarik perhatian, memaksa orang lain mengikuti gerakannya. Terakhir, setiap tarian menenangkan jiwa. Entah dengan mengekspresikan kegembiraan. Entah dengan menghayati sebuah penderitaan. Entah dengan menampilkan kemarahan yang paling seronok.
Dan terciptalah tarian terindah!
Begitu pula dengan seorang pemimpin sebagai penari. Pemimpin melakukan kepemimpinan dengan sepenuh hati. Setiap orang mempunyai gaya kepemimpinannya yang khas, memainkan tariannya sendiri. Tak heran, kita jadi mengenal begitu banyak model kepemimpinan, yang sesungguhnya semuanya itu sama-sama benar. Kepemimpinannya ditandai dengan adanya tindakan yang ritmis. Pemimpin bukannya mereka yang berdiam diri semata. Ketika menemui tantangan, pemimpin menghadapinya secara fleksibel tetapi tetap dalam koridor. Pemimpin pun harus atraktif, menarik hati orang-orang disekitarnya. Sekaligus, bisa menggembirakan, menenangkan dalam keadaan tertekan, maupun marah dalam situasi yang tepat.
Lalu, apa gunanya the dancing leader? Dalam bekerja, kita berjumpa dengan berbagai perubahan. Perubahan rekan kerja, bawahan, atasan, proses produksi, lingkungan kerja, aturan pemerintah, tugas baru, tuntutan customer, dan yang lainnya. Apabila elemen-elemen itu merupakan sebuah ritme musik, maka seorang penari luwes menarikan tarian yang selaras dengan ritme musik. Mungkin memainkan tari saman. Atau tari yosim pancar. Apapun. Selama sang penari itu menghayati tarian tersebut. Tarian yang membuat dirinya tetap menjadi diri sendiri. Sehingga, hasilnya sebuah tarian yang indah. Tarian yang memuaskan diri sekaligus para penonton.
Begitulah the dancing leader. Ia lihai menciptakan gerak antisipatif terhadap perubahan yang dihadapi. Mungkin ia akan memainkan kepemimpinan super dalam menghadapi tuntutan customer. Di lain waktu, ia akan memainkan kepemimpinan emosional dalam menghadapi bawahan yang keras kepala. Atau, bisa jadi ia akan mengkombinasikan dua model kepemimpinan. Apapun modelnya, ia tetap bisa menikmati mode kepemimpinan itu. Model kepemimpinan yang membuatnya tetap menjadi diri sendiri. Sehingga, ia tetap enjoy dengan kehidupan dan kepemimpinannya, sekaligus ia memuaskan para stakeholder.
***
Sungguh menakjubkan apabila setiap waktu, di setiap tempat di organisasi, kita bisa menyaksikan berbagai tarian yang menawan. Lebih dalam lagi, mengingat kata-kata berikut:
Talk about dance? Dance is not something to talk about. Dance is to dance. ~Peter Saint James
Maka kita hentikan pembahasan. Siapkan hati. Bergerak. Bergerak. Bergerak. Mengikuti irama hati. Memainkan tarian tercantik kita!
UNTYING THE KNOTS OF OLD HABITS
Habits—
a habit is a solidification of some way of thinking, way of feeling, way of talking, or way of acting that now allows us to go unconscious. This is truly a powerful dynamic in human nature, is it not? We have the innate ability to repeat some thought, emotion, attitude, belief, ritual, way of responding, etc. and through the process of repeating and validating we can put install it as our default program for how we operate as a person. At that point the program goes on automatic so we don't have to think about it, but our neurology, our neuro-pathways, and our conditioned muscle memory "knows" how to continue the operation.
Further, once we have done this, we can relax our concern for remembering all these things. We can trust that it will just operate whenever its cues are triggered. So like typing on a keyboard, driving a car, tying a bow, playing a sport, or hundreds of other things in daily life—we now become unconscious of the content of that learning. The learning goes on automatic pilot. As a result this frees our mind for turning our attention to other things, new things, things more interesting, new things to learn.
This description enables us to see habit as an old learning. It is a past learning that is now fully incorporated in our neurology thereby freeing our mind for learning something else. This is part of the "ecology of the mind" that Bateson wrote about in his classic work, Steps to an Ecology of Mind (1972).
Now, as a meta reflection, consider the essence of a habit. We could say that a habit is a mind-to-muscle embodiment. How about that? In the creation of a habit, we take what we know consciously in our mind, and agree with intellectually, and through repetition, through practice, through affirming it repeatedly, through using our body and actions to act on it—we take what was just mental and we make it corporal. We in-corporate it. We embody it. We run neuro-pathways until it becomes "in the body" and our "way of being in the world."
That's really powerful! You and I —in the mechanism of "habit"— have the ability to mind-to-muscle great ideas into our neurology. It is in this way that we "metabolize" ideas. We digest them and they become part and parcel of our soma, our body.
So all of this is great, right? Well, no, there are some problems in this. And they begin so innocently. For example, once we have developed a habit, the habit is in control. That's a problem? Well, yes, it is if the world changes. It is if we need to change. It is if our current situation calls for new flexibility to adapt to new influences and factors in our life. After all, a habit by definition reduces our adaptability (our ability to adapt) and so our resilience, flexibility, being present to each present moment, and ability to continuously learn and improve.
This describes both the bright and dark sides of habits. They enable us to get great ideas into our body and they lock also us up within the prison of those very ideas reducing our choices and adaptability. Habits, in fact, are one of the great interferences to self-actualization. Habits as past-learnings- solidified- into-neurology are often the very things we have to unlearn. As solutions and answers to previous challenges and problems, habits are old answers and sometimes they become irrelevant answers to problems and questions that no longer exist.
Ah yes, unlearning. We come back to that. This means that unlearning our habits of mind, emotion, speech, and behavior makes up one of the key mechanisms for continually unleashing new and exciting potentials from within ourselves. So, how about you? What former ways of thinking, believing, deciding, emoting, speaking, acting, and so on that once was a new perspective, a new strength, a new development but is now a problem? Now it is in the way? Now it interferes with taking your skills or person to a new level?
The skill to unlearn is as critical, if not more so, than the skill to learn. And as accelerated learning improves the quality and speed of our learning, so does accelerated unlearning. This is, in fact, the kind of change that often that precedes a new development or transformation. First, we have to clear the space and undo the inner structures– the psycho-logics that hold it in place.
Now while the Axes of Change model is an efficient change model for generative change that describes how psychologically healthy people change, its focus is on the dance of change that primarily seeks to create and invent something new rather than unlearning something old.
And this is where the Crucible comes in. As a holistic and holographic change model, it is designed to facilitate unlearning. And it is especially appropriate when a former learning has become an ingrained and unconscious habit. As a default program, when we try something new, we find our old habit of thought or emotion activated in a nano-second and long before we become conscious of it. In this way it interferes with the installation and integration of the new learning.
So, if you find yourself trying and trying to get a new learning inside, if you find yourself knowing intellectually what you should do, and even know how to do it, but even before you have an external cue for realizing now is the time to use that learning—an old learning is activated and interferes, you have the very thing that calls for an unlearning strategy and change process. You have the context that is perfect for using the Crucible. And it is this which is ideal to take into the Crucible of Change and Transformation.
Powerful Achievement of Hypnotherapy
Recently a hypnotherapist received a call from the wife of a friend he had not seen for
more than two years. He knew that the friend had been treated surgically for cancer
of the kidney, but he had heard that the operation had proved successful and all was
well. Unfortunately, this was not the case.
The wife asked the hypnotherapist if he would see the husband and try to relieve the
intense pain which was being suffered. The therapist requested medical authority to
enter into the case and was advised that the situation was terminal, and that
everything possible had been done -- any help in pain relief was more than welcome.
The prognosis was for about six months of life.
The situation was such that the patient could not visit the office, so the
hypnotherapist offered to make a house call. He had some concern about the
hypnotizability of the patient, since hypnosis usually requires an ability to focus
attention as directed by the hypnotherapist in the fixation phase of the induction. It
was possible that the sheer intensity of the pain was so great that diversion of
attention from it would be difficult or impossible.
Anticipating that repeat visits would be difficult in view of the medical and family
situations, the therapist made a tape dealing with relaxation, rest and pain reduction,
taking it with him on the call. On arriving he learned that he was ill-prepared to face
the situation confronting him. His friend was in bed, face contorted with agony, with a
tube in the arm connected to a button which released morphine on demand. The
morphine now provided minimal relief.
The Power Of The Mind
The hypnotherapist called the family into the room, together with the patient, to
acquaint them with the plan and procedures. After the family was informed, members
left and the therapist talked for some time with the patient, discussing hypnosis the
powers of the mind and pain. An induction was then begun, and while it was slow
going at the beginning, the patient did slip into a hypnotic trance and responded very
well once relaxation was achieved. He was programmed for alleviation of pain, control
of emotions, abilities to take nourishment and response to treatment. He was given a
special cue to use for pain relief when discomfort became particularly intense. He was
given the tape and advised it paralleled the hypnotic session and would provide
similar relief when used. On awakening the patient commented that he had not rested
so well in months.
In six weeks the patient died. At the funeral services the wife told the hypnotherapist
the final six weeks had been bearable for both the patient and the family due to the
tape. She commented that when pain became intense the patient would ask for the
tape, and when it was begun the time required to move from deep pain to total
relaxation was approximately thirty seconds.
It was evident that the expectation of relief more than the content of the tape was
the effective element. Such is the power of the mind.
Applications and Techniques
Hypnotherapeutic methods for achieving pain relief are numerous. Effectiveness can
vary and the choice may depend on the condition and personality of the patient.
Suggestions may be direct or indirect, interspersal, or may utilize anaesthesia, guided
imagery, hypnoanalysis or other procedures.
As is so important in hypnosis, attitude is a major factor. It is important that the
patient accept that relief is possible. Constant pain needs to be approached on a
different basis than interim pain. Constant pain is not to be relinquished completely
even for a few minutes, since it is identified with the life force. The patient likes to
feel it is there, however reduced, even during periods of sleep.
Physical pain is seldom constant. The therapist will determine if the patient has
experienced periods, however briefly, which were free of pain. If the patient claims
the pain is constant, it is more likely to be psychological in origin and may indicate a
constant pain syndrome. Treatment will likely involve the establishment of rapport
with empathy and appreciation of the value of pain. Hypnotic regression to the
problem can lead to understanding and relief.
A reasonable hypnotherapist usually will not work with physical pain without being in
communication with an appropriate physician, for the simple reason that pain is more
of a symptom than a condition. Pain indicates that something is wrong, somewhere,
and that is true whether the pain is physical or mental. It would be the height of folly
to treat a migraine headache only to have it turn out to have been a brain cancer.
It is important to remember that some patients value their pains highly, just as a
hypochondriac can be said to "enjoy poor health". Through hypnosis patients
frequently can be shown that they can control their pains, and being able to do so they
also can diminish pain to tolerable levels or turn it off completely at will.
Seemingly endless periods of tests which prove in-conclusive, often accompanied by
conflicting diagnoses, can instill levels of fear which may be dealt with through
hypnotherapy. Guilt, anger or other emotional problems often enter into the picture
when accidents are involved as source conditions.
Negative attitudes must be dealt with, and again the capability of hypnosis to modify
trends of thought becomes important. In difficult cases the power to cope can be
programmed into the patient's mind, possible together with cues to make the process
more or less automatic.
In dealing with pain situations, teaching the patient the use of self-hypnosis
techniques can be highly beneficial, reinforcing th programming that has been done in
the case.
HERE ARE SOME POWERFUL AND POSITIVE USES FOR HYPNOSIS
Dentistry to relieve conscious and unconscious fears, reduce discomfort, allergic
reactions to drugs and to bring an all around sense of calm to the patient for the
dentist. Because of this you can also expect rapid healing and often times complete
control of blood flow. You can imagine the benefits already!
Medical Professionals now recognize how powerful hypnosis is to help reduce or
eliminate pain. From Burn Units to Cancer Wards, hypnosis is being used succesfully
around the world to alleviate pain.
Setiap orang belum tentu menyadari bahwa kehadirannya bermakna. Seperti apa makna kehadirannya cepat atau lambat spt itulah orang lain akan 'menterjemahkan' pemaknaan bawah sadarnya. Maka hati-hatilah dengan pemaknaan kehadiran yang kita terapkan dalam setiap perjumpaan (bahkan pra perjumpaan) dengan orang lain.
Kisah analog, bgm starbuck bisa infiltasi pasar scr hebat ke jepang? Mengapa justru yg tersibuk adalah starbuck Tokyo bukan Seattle, New York atau San Francisco? Selain proses promosi & edukasi pasar yang berhasil, kesuksesan itu krn keberhasilan pemaknaan kehadiran sudah di'hidup'kan (dipresentasikan, baca: divisualisasikan) bahkan jauh sebelum starbuck berekspansi di sana. Mau diberi makna apa kehadiran kita masing-2? Saya tidak akan mengatakan wallahualam bissawab, krn makna kehadiran tergantung kita maisng-maisng, sang pemberi makna.
